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Thompsons helped end a 21-year nightmare for avid Cat Stevens fan Avril Stulte by winning compensation against boy band Boyzone for ruining one of her favourite songs.

The Irish quintet released a cover of Stevens’ “Father and Son” in 1995, which reached no.2 in the UK album charts but left Ms Stulte unable to listen to the original version without experiencing fits of toe-curling, violent rage.

Michael Briggs“The song is written from the perspective of a worldly father using his hard won life experience to dissuade his wayward son from risking his life joining the Russian revolution; how on earth do a bunch of teenagers from suburban Dublin relate to those experiences?” bemoaned Stulte.

But it wasn’t just the juxtaposed idiocy of the recording which irritated Stulte: “Ronan Keating constantly sings like he has a mouthful of porridge. Why does he have to put on that silly voice that sounds like a pubescent Eddie Vedder?”

Stulte’s husband has also expressed the whole family’s relief following the decision, remarking that while the money will go some way to replacing the glassware shattered by muzak strains of Shane Lynch’s backing vocals, the family were still unable to listen to the original without breaking out in cold sweats.

The presiding judge, in awarding the compensation, condemned the band, deriding them as a cheap karaoke outfit, noting that Keith Duffy’s vocal contribution produced a sound akin to someone dragging their fingernails along a blackboard.

While Ms Stulte’s personal legal battle is over, she is determined to make sure others avoid the same fate, vowing to petition Parliament for a change in the law that would see all Boyzone records, CDs and cassettes doused in lighter fluid and set fire to before being encased in concrete and buried 200ft below the ground. We wish her well.

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